Simple Rules Every Man Should Follow: A Style Guide

A lot of times I find myself looking at what other men wear when they go out and many times I cry on the inside. Gone are the days where men actually made an attempt and cared how they look. It may sound superficial, and to a degree it is, but there's more to it than just looking good. 

As I sit here in the laundromat, watching my clothes spin in a sudsy bath, I thought I'd post what I think how men should go about styling themselves. 

I. Every man should own at least 4 suits. A black suit, a grey suit, a navy blue suit and a tuxedo. 

You may ask yourself "why the hell should I own these suits?" Well, many men may think one or two suits would be fine to own but you'll just be handicapping yourself with the various engagements you'll be attending in your lifetime. Each of the suits I mention have a rather specific utility to them, other than looking sharp. With a black suit, you can pretty much wear that to any event you go to. It's very versatile in that you can wear it into the office, a wedding, or a funeral as morbid as that may sound. One shouldn't be wearing something bright to that event unless you're going to an Asian funeral where white is typically worn (correct me if I'm wrong in that regard please). With a grey suit, you can comfortably wear it out in winter without being cold yet stand out in a bold way. Grey suits can also favor you well in a job interview. Not only would you look sharp and elegant, you'll also stand out from your competition as they're likely to wear a conservative black or navy suit. Also, Sean Connery wore a grey suit as James Bond and what man doesn't want to look like the best James Bond ever? The navy suit is a classic suit. That's for when you finally get that office job you pined for. Wear it on your first day and you'll make a bold statement by saying "I'm here. Watch me." Then there's the tuxedo. Own it. Don't rent it. Oh so you got married? Don't go thinking that'll be the only wedding you'll be attending. I find it perfectly fine to wear a tuxedo at another person's wedding. Don't go thinking you'll be stealing the show because as much as you may look good, no one will pay attention once the bride comes walking down that isle. You may even become a part the groom's party once or twice as a best man. No need to rent a suit or have them rent one for you because you'll have that covered. In the future, you may have a daughter and you'll have to "give her away" and if you're lucky enough to still look fairly similar to when you initially bought it, you'll be good to go! Also, should you be married at the moment, it might provide points to you from your wife by keeping the tuxedo you got married in. They're pretty sentimental about that stuff. Most women at least. 

II. Every man should know how to tie 4 different knots. A four in hand, a half Windsor, a full Windsor (also known as a double Windsor) and a bow tie. 

"Shouldn't one knot be sufficient?" Noooooo! Each knot is specifically geared to the width of the collar to your shirt. A four in hand, which is THE easiest to learn, and a half Windsor, would do well with narrow and medium collard shirts. The full Windsor is for the wider collars as being a more fuller knot, would compliment the more wider area. This matters and I can't stress this enough. Try throwing on a four in hand on a wide collar shirt and a full Windsor to a narrow collar shirt. Not only would it look foolish and busy, a full Windsor on a narrow collar is rather difficult to perform and would choke you as the event you attend goes on. The bow tie? Learn it! Don't buy a pre-made bow tie. You're going to go through the effort to wear a nice suit and then blemish it by wearing a pre-made one? You may think that you've done good but it comes off half ass and no one likes half assery. 

III. Tuck in that shirt!

This is a problem with many men. So you've had a full day did you? You'd like to head out straight from work and into the bar, lounge club to have a few drinks? Safe to throw off that tie and pull off your tucked shirt? Not really. 

Look I get it. Your day was exhausting and you want to relax and have a few drinks and maybe meet someone new. If you're taken, by all means bust it all out but if you're single and ready to mingle as the saying goes, your work hasn't stopped just because you stepped out that office. If you're looking to meet someone new, you'd do a disservice to yourself if you go and throw off that tie and untuck that shirt because I can guarantee you that the majority of the men who go to bars, lounges and clubs with a dress code have their shirt untucked. Why they think this is ok is beyond me but by untucking that shirt, guess what? Congratulations! You now look like every other bloke in the establishment! How is that going to help your cause? Sure, you may be a very charming fellow and I'm being shallow here but first impressions count. You're probably not going to wow the person you're trying to get at initially, that'll come later. He or she will first notice what you're wearing and if you look like every guy in there, he/she probably won't notice you and you want to be noticed. Sure, you don't want to come off stuffy by still looking neat and sharp coming out of the office but you'll come off looking successful and smart and sharp and yada yada yada. It's points for you for standing out in that way. You know what other place where you can be as comfortable as you want to dress and still accomplish what you set out to accomplish...drinking and meeting new people? Sports bars. Like the saying goes, when in Rome. Look better than a Roman. 

This entry may come off superficial and I'd agree with that, but I'll be the first one to say that what I've said isn't mandatory or that it's worth anything. Owning such things would be good. It certainly wouldn't hurt you, but the main point I'm trying to throw out there is that you make that attempt! That's important. Looking good is one thing. It shows that you care a great deal in how you look and looking good will only boost your confidence but more importantly, it shows the person in front of you that you care whoever thay may be. Whether it's your boss, friend or significant other. Your boss will treat you with a bit more respect, maybe even pride, that someone working for him/her took the time and effort to look good not only for yourself or your co-workers but also for the company. And your significant other or the person you're trying to woo? Holy shit would you do well if you make the attempt! You don't have to go out on a date, or every date, in a suit. Shit, just make the attempt to look nice and appropriate for him/her! They will notice it and they will appreciate, maybe love, that you dressed up for them whatever the occasion may be. 

But seriously, own these things...

Sentimental Prick

It was a busy day in the newsroom not too long ago. I was going on one hours worth of sleep and I had work at the end of the school day. Needless to say, I was extremely exhausted. My friend and EIC was kind enough to drive me to work once we left the newsroom. I wouldn't have made it to work on time had I taken the metro.

He has fantastic taste in music. Most of the stuff he plays in the newsroom, I find myself turning around, do a double take and ask "wtf is this goodness?!" I had one of those moments during the drive to my work and I had to Shazaam this goodness. I love music. LOVE music! After getting the song title and artist, I largely forgot about it. My Shazaam tag list is stupid long. 

Last night I found myself restless and couldn't sleep as you could probably tell from my last entry which was done in the early am hours of this morning. I needed something to listen to to keep me at ease and I remember the song I heard in my friend's car and how beautiful it was so I opened up Shazaam and proceeded to buy the song on iTunes. After listening to it the first time, I found the calm I sought and fell asleep not long after after putting the song on repeat. 

As I'm writing this on my way to work, on the bus, this song is playing on repeat through my headphones. There are only a couple of songs that I consider life changing songs. I'm proud to add this one to my list...


All The Kings Horses

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. I had a very weird and strange experience happen to me a couple of days ago that freaked me out and I was reminded of it. 

I was at a friend's house while they were out at the LA autoshow and I had drifted to sleep on the couch while I was watching TV. At some point, my body started to shiver, much like you would when you're out in the cold with no jacket on. Me knowing that I'm shivering and shaking shows that I wasn't sleeping. At this point I try to open my eyes because it the house wasn't cold enough for me to shake like that but there was a problem. I could barely open my eyes. I tried to force myself but I couldn't. It went from bad to worse when I tried to move my arms but I couldn't. I couldn't move my body at all. I started to become really scared and panicked. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't move. Something was terribly wrong. 

This lasted for 10 minutes but it felt longer. I hesitate to use clichés. I was totally conscious of my surroundings and myself and I've never felt such a terrifying experience. At one point I thought I was dying and I was going to die then and there. My friends were going to return to a corpse on their couch...

Obviously that didn't happen as I'm writing this entry. I've never been...well it was scary being immobilized and paralyzed like that. Especially when you're doing something unrisky like sleeping. Being reminded of that event made me think if my time is coming soon. Or if my time isn't coming soon, how much longer do I have in this world. I'm not ready to leave and this is the closest thing I've had to coming close to my mortality. There was another instance but this is the closest. 

I have a lot to lose. So many people I love and would love to grow old with. Have I told them I loved them enough? Do they know? Far too much left to do and to experience. I barely scratched the surface. I feel, at this moment, like I've squandered most of my time here and I hate that. Don't get me wrong, I've done a lot but I want to do and experience more. This was certainly a life changing experience. My birthday is in a couple of weeks. Where and how do I go from here?

And all the king's men...

This One's Going To Hurt

I always thought it looked cool, as I watched my slightly older friends as they took drags off the cigarettes they were smoking. Granted, I was only 16 at the time, but you're pretty impressionable when you're so young. The want, and arguably need, to look cool and be socially accepted at this stage in a person's life is important for most people. You're probably in high school, somewhere between a freshman and a sophomore, so you're pretty low on the social ladder of things and one of the quickest ways to be and look cool and thus, accepted, is to do what the bigger kids were doing and one of them was smoking.

That was many, MANY moons ago. Through my years, what initially started as a way to become accepted, turned into a form of stress reliever at one phase, and then just turned into a habit. Long were the days where I would think, "time to look cool," as I lit up a cigarette. Now there is no thought. Wake up in the morning? Smoke. Drive to work or waiting for a bus? Smoke. A couple of hours of work done? Smoke. Get more hours of work done? Smoke and go home. Of course there are the instances where friends invite you for a smoke and you say "yeah sure ok," not even considering that you just had a smoke no longer than 30 seconds ago. It's a bad habit and I've done it for so long that just recently I decided to quit.

It's been nearly a week and I've been doing..."ok" for someone that has been smoking for roughly half his life. It's really a difficult task to take on and quite a challenge for lack of a better word. On the first day I decided to quit, I went to the drug store to buy "the patch" to help me along my road to a smoke free life and let me tell you, the first time I tried the patch, not long after application I began to feel lightheaded and nearly passed out so I discarded that thing like a bad habit (see what I did there?). Maybe I got the wrong dosage but I started to panic because what I felt did not feel right at all. Then I bought the gum and for the most part it has helped me a bit. I don't get lightheaded much and the gum tastes like crap once the nicotine starts to kick in, but I haven't smoked. Having said that, as I type this out, I REALLY want a cigarette but I can't. I made a promise to someone.

This isn't the first time I've tried to quit smoking. The very first time I tried to quit smoking was soon after I started smoking in high school. That lasted for a good month. Then there are the frequent attempts that would last about a week at best and a few days at worst. What's funny, as I type this out, knowing that smoking is bad for you, is when me and my friends were young, I remember a conversation regarding what it would take for us to quit or under what circumstances would we even consider quitting. If I remember correctly some of the answers were if a loved one were dying of cancer and asked them to quit or a boyfriend or girlfriend were to ask (but only if they were "worth it"), and some were like "never" and I suppose they're all valid answers. Even the "never" is a valid answer. Not one of the answers I remember were if the person were dying. Who wants to think about that? or "because of my health". We were all young and dumb so what did we know?

I'm old school. I like to think I am a man of my word and keeping my word is important to me because my word, to you, should hold a lot of weight...that it can be trusted. I do this for a promise I made to someone which is more important than my health. Hell, I've been doing something on a regular basis that has been killing me for half of my life. That should tell you how I regard my own well being. But if I make someone a promise to do something, I will keep that promise. The benefits to my health are just extra points to me.

So nearly a week in and I'm still smoke free. Thanks in large part to my anti-smoking gum and to a promise I made to someone I care a great deal about. Still, the fleeting thoughts of going outside and having a smoke do come every once in a while but they do go as well...

Take notice of the little things

I'm having a moment here. It's not rare that I do. I have a good amount of them when I'm able to collect myself. One of the great things about having photography as a passion is that you train yourself to be observant of everything going around you and it's a very difficult thing to master. I for one haven't. I'm ok and getting better at it but still, at times I miss out on a lot.

I found myself walking on the street on this chilly night and I felt so alone. I'm just beginning to see and feel how empty Los Angeles streets can be. The same thing happened to me while I was in New York but I never felt lonely. Because the streets in New York are so narrow, I felt as if the close quarter of that environment encapsulated me and I felt warm despite the cold temperature. As I walked, there was a bit of joy seeing fallen leaves, wet from the rain drenched ground and walking over them, some crunching noises from the leaves that were able to maintain some degree of dryness. It's hard to explain. My words do my feeling and experience no justice.

I suppose to put it plainly, I was in awe. It's no secret I miss NY. I just wish I'd experience something similar here. Whenever it rains here, I'm miserable. Oddly enough, that wasn't the case in NY. Don't get me wrong, I get nice moments here in LA but they rarely occur in the latter part of the year. That's a shame. I'm fond of these moments.

Dear New York,

I left what I've called home for the past 30 some odd years of my life to a place I barely know, yet when I landed, it felt like I never left. You're far much colder than what I'm used to and even though I do like my temperatures warm, for you, I will handle whatever you have in store for me. 

I found myself lost in you today. I took a what I thought was the right direction but eventually figured out that I strayed. I didn't panic though. Walking through your chilly neighborhoods filled with beautiful brownstones and fall leaves laden sidewalk, you're far different than what I'm used to but there was a sense of calm and ease and I slowly tried to find my direction once again. 

I don't mind getting lost within you as when I do, I find little bits of myself that were lost ages ago. I adore that I'm able to take from you what I lost. Not that it was forced, more so like a gift to me. I needed that. 

In 36hrs, I will have completed what I originally set out to do and say goodbye once more to a place I call home that may no longer be appealing but still, it's home. I have nothing there and everything there...the only thing that connects you two. 

I think kindly of you. When I need another breath of fresh air, I'll come once again, and you won't hold it against me.

Oh New York

A few hours ago I landed in New York and it was a breath of fresh air. Cold air but fresh nonetheless. Landing, I felt like I was back at joke and there's only a few places I feel that way. Other than my actual home, Los Angeles, San Francisco would be the other location I consider home or feel really comfortable in. 

I should've packed warmer. I think for what I have now, I'm good but a scarf or an extra pair of long johns and I'd be toasty and lovely. 

My trip just got started and it's looking like all business and little pleasure which I'm fine with. Anything other than journalism is a vacation for me at this moment. Tomorrow is looking like a hectic day as there may be an extra gig I picked up along with the wedding I'm scheduled to do. Plus there are the little things like fulfilling the requests of friends to perform and do for them while I'm out here so we'll see how it pans out. 

Currently 2am here and 11pm in LA and I oddly tired. Rest will play a big role this weekend but I'm oddly rejuvenated. It's really exciting being here and I hope to bring some of that back when I leave on Monday...

A Series Of Sleepless Nights

It's that time of year again and I'm not talking about Christmas season. This is the third consecutive sleepless night for me. There have been a lot of things running through my mind these days and I won't delve into the details and considering I'm not normally like this means one thing. December is around the corner and my mind is reacting in kind to it. 

My hope is that by placing this entry, my eyes would get ever so tired that I may be able to catch some rest before any activities I have planned ahead for the day occur. There was a time when me and December were cool but those days are now nostalgic memories. I can't place an exact time frame where me and the month grew apart but it was a gradual distancing. I don't get moody during this time. Moody is not the right word. I get...disassociated. If I had a hole to crawl into, I'd do it and wait for January and the new year to show up. I've always been fond of Spring. 

I was going somewhere with this but I'm afraid my plan is working as my eyes have become heavier since I started this entry. I bid you adieu. 


Hello old friend. It's nice to see you again.

Where has the time gone? I've totally neglecting my blogging activity because it's been so hectic in the newsroom...my responsibilities as Photo Editor of the newspaper and my duties with the magazine. I'm literally worn out and exhausted and I'm a bit surprised as to how I'm still trucking on...

I desperately need a change of scenery. It's a good thing one is coming as I fly back out to New York next week to work on another wedding with my dear friend Pamela Masters. I'm really going to enjoy the flight out there and normally I'm a bit nervous about flying but I remember the last time I was out there, not too long ago, flying high above the clouds, trying to make out objects and landmarks and I took comfort in wondering what that little speck on the ground that would later be realized as a car was going or what the people living on the various patches of farmland were doing in this very moment. Despite the monotonous droning sound of the plane's engine or the warbled conversations going on between passengers, I found solace in my meandering thoughts not once ever thinking about deadlines and news. Typing this out made me realize how much little time I have to myself and that I cherish those fleeting moments.

This New York trip will be a quick one. Fly out of Los Angeles Friday, wedding rehearsal Saturday and some bit of sightseeing, Sunday is the wedding and I fly back to Los Angeles 7am New York time JUST to make it back on campus in time to perform my editor and journalism duties. What's funny, and sad in hindsight, is that back when this trip was in the works, I was so excited to be able to knockout the NY gig, make it back to the newsroom and knock that out too. That's quite a feat of dedication if I wasn't so stressed out and exhausted but seeing how I am now, it'd be nice to just stay in NY a little while longer. Indefinitely would be a pipe dream but a nice dream nonetheless.

8 days. If there wasn't a more pressing time for something to happen...

In Over My Head

I do believe I have taken upon myself, far too many responsibilities, to the point that I probably dug my own academic grave. A semester ago, I was a part of the Pierce College Roundup newspaper as a staff photographer and after the semester came to an end, I agreed to, and wanted to become, a part of the editorial board. I have no regrets joining the editorial board. For the most part, it's been rather fun and an enriching experience. However, I did sign up for other classes this semester with their own responsibilities. I'm taking Photo 21, which is the next class up from last semesters Photo 20 course I took, I'm also taking Journalism 101 and I'm a part of the Bull magazine. That's 4 classes of journalism work. 3 weeks into the semester and I'm seeing signs of degradation in my work overall and I don't like it. Actually, I hate it.

Being a part of the editorial board of the newspaper, my position being Photo Editor, is no easy task. Hell, being a part of ed board as an editor is no easy task. In my particular section, I have to look out for every photographer in Photo 20/21. Make sure they're going out there and documenting/photographing the stories they "promised" to do. Make sure their photos are good, as well as their photo captions. When production day rolls around, I have to press the photos and design a photo essay when possible to which, I have little experience in. It's a good thing I'm not the only Photo Editor on the ed board and without that second help, man my life would really suck.

So after trying to meet those responsibilities, and I'm trying my best, I'm missing assignments left and right in all my other journalism classes. Am I in trouble? Not yet but I'm kind of on my way there. The logical thing to do would be to cut one of my classes to ease the load but, and here's where my stubbornness comes in, I hate to quit. Here's where the paradox comes in...I want to excel. So what do I do?

My solution: go with it. I chose my classes. I'll come to accept that I won't do as great as I would like in other courses, or all the courses, but I'll take the challenges head on and in the end, it would be a valuable learning experience. A bit crazy right? I got alot of those comments during the first week of the semester. All I know is what I'm capable of and how I go about facing challenges. My determination (or stubbornness) will not allow me to fail and I'm a fairly bright guy. I've surprised myself sometimes and what I can do when the proverbial shit hits the fan. It ain't there yet but...challenge accepted.